Hello readers, I just wanted to chime in to apologize for my lack of posts lately, a trend which I think will likely continue. There’s plenty going on to talk about – considering top surgery, getting ready to come out to my Puerto Rican family, making progress on trans stuff with my butch Pops, trying to figure out conflicting feelings about whether I want to be perceived as a trans or a cis male and what degree of privacy I prefer, having recurring dreams about having long hair, being called “she,” or being referred to by my given name, dating a cis gay guy who had never dated a trans man before but who has no issue with my body, and even considering the possibility of going off testosterone at some point, for the health of my internal female organs. Nevertheless, writing out all my thoughts and feelings doesn’t have the same degree of urgency now as it did in early transition, when I felt that I was writing to live. For the most part, I feel pretty good about my body, my gender, and how I’m treated in the social world, and I now have the leisure to mull long-term decisions about the future of my body and contemplate some of the psychic aftereffects of transition without the edge of immediate crisis to push me. I have also been working on my book (which has nothing to do with trans issues), which means that I spend long hours each day writing at the computer. The last thing I want to do in my leisure time now is write at my computer. So I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to a slower rhythm of posting from here on out, though I promise to let you know if anything major happens. Or I may let go of writing philosophical exposes for a time and try to briefly relay new events along with some of the issues they bring up for me in my posts.
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