In the last two weeks, I have:
Been sirred by an airline stewardess, who didn’t blink when I ordered my drink.
Been sirred continuously by a grocery store cashier, who did not regender me when I started speaking.
Been called “man” by some guys in a car commenting on my bad driving.
Been informed, “the men’s room is over there,” when I tried to wait in line for the women’s room.
Been pointedly asked, “Is this the ladies’ room?” by a woman waiting in line behind me in an airport women’s restroom, who clearly knew that it was the ladies’ room.
Been the object of a series of pointed looks between two women in an airport bathroom both before and after I went in my stall. The looks went something like this, “Look over there… Is that a boy in the women’s room?” “Honey, no, it’s one of those gender freaks“. (I go into a stall and reemerge from the stall). “Look, there it is again,” *shared silent laughter*.
Been the object of many more silent stares by both men and women trying to figure me out in the airport proper.
Blushed with pleasure to be publicly called “this guy,” and “little guy” among the New York City queers.
Felt my heart sink when a gay man referred to me and a group of people I was with as “all these lesbians”.
Felt a flash of anger when an acquaintance pretending to predict my future at a party said that I would find “plenty of ladies to date” in my new city. I promptly denigrated her fortune telling abilities and informed her, “Well, you’re off there. I’m not so much into the ladies”.
Felt a brief jolt of pain when an acquaintance said, “Well, you’re a big girl now,” in a conversation. She promptly checked herself, “a big boy now?” before saying, “I’m not sure what terms you prefer. I met you as ‘she’…” To which I responded, “I use female pronouns, but prefer male gender terms”.
Felt completely dysphoric when reading an acquaintance’s email introduction of me to his friends. He wrote me beforehand to ask what gender pronouns I used. I told him that I used female pronouns, but when I got the email introduction, jam packed with shes and hers, I could not recognize myself in it. It felt like he was talking about someone else.